Saturday, July 27, 2013

Sharknado at a Signing

A recent disaster film had a "sharknado," a tornado that picked up sharks out of the ocean and carried them to Los Angeles. At last night's book signing, it felt like a sharknado had come to Albuquerque. Sharknado or not, I learned a valuable lesson about being a man.

The signing was on the westside of Albuquerque, nothing seemed amiss when I parked my car at five, set up my table inside the store and sold a few books. While doing a sales, I saw a judge whom I had based a character on. I told the potential customer "That woman over there is in the book, and I made a sale." I thought that was the most interesting moment of the night.

I was wrong.

My wife called and told me that it was storming downtown and she would be unable to join me for dinner. "Is the storm there yet?" she asked. I shrugged. Moments later, the winds picked up and soon it began raining. People coming into the store were drenched. I went outside and the parking lot was turned into a lake. I saw a vehicle go down into two feet of water, and splash the other vehicles like a ride at a bad waterpark.

I laughed for a moment, until I realized that my car was one of the vehicles it splashed. I hurried out into the rain to move my car. When I was in the deep water, I felt something move by the side of my leg. Was it a shark? I didn't ever find out, I hurried to the car, and drove it to higher ground. I did feel something hit the side of my vehicle, but I think it was a shopping cart rather than a shark. In some ways, a shoppingcartnado can be more dangerous than a sharknado.

The store was soon empty. Everyone was outside watching the storm. My wife called and told me there was no power and asked if I would bring home dinner. The cats were restless. She sounded lonely, but brave. Would the sharknado get her as well?

As the store was empty, I went next door and ordered spaghetti to go. The bartender learned that I was an author and he tried to pitch me his own story, I quickly hurried back out to the rain. I am more scared of author pitches than sharknados.

The sharknado soon abated, and people were returning. I could have sold a few more books if I wanted, but the choice was clear. When a sharknado strikes, I have to be the hero.

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