Monday, March 18, 2013

The Princess and the Putz; A story I'll never write

UNM is playing Harvard in the NCAA tournament on Thursday.. The last time I saw Harvard play in sports, I was a student at Cornell and had an encounter that could have changed my life. Many years later, it's time to pitch a screenplay that I will never write.

This part really happened. It was the Harvard hockey game, the big game of the year for Cornell. Next to me were two Asian women, one in a Harvard sweatshirt, the other wearing one for Cornell. They were talking in Japanese like two best friends. I might have walked by them a few times, and thankfully didn't spill anything. Many years later, I found out that the one in the Harvard sweat shirt MIGHT have been an Imperial Princess of Japan who was indeed at Harvard at the time. Talk about a story that writes itself.

Imagine, if I had indeed spilled something on the Princess and we had "met cute" as they say in the biz. I see the guy from the recent hit Warm Bodies, Nicholas Hoult in the male role. Brenda Song might play the princess. (I am aware she is Korean. I could also see some J-pop singing sensation, but I don't know any of their names, so we'll just use the name Brenda). Nick and Brenda exchange contact info and over the next few months, become pen pals, not knowing her true identity. Act II switches to Japan of course, as the Princess takes Nick ostenstibly to meet her family, but doesn't tell him that her father is really the Emperor. Nick meet her friend's family instead, but I wonder why everyone keeps bowing to Brenda. Sure enough, the truth comes out and the Princess and is arranged to be married to someone she doesn't love. Act III is where Nick breaks up the marraige and the two live happily ever after. Either they take up the throne, or else live in America where the Princess follows her dream. It could even be a musical, a happy version of Madame Butterfly.

I am aware that there was a recent Selena Gomez film along these lines (Not Spring Breakers), but this is a funny idea for a film. One can easily picture some comic action sequences along the way, hopefully involving Ninjas.

Why will I never write this story? Too much research. I also don't think I can write teen romance at this stage of the game. If anyone wants to write it, let me know. By the way, does anyone know if the Princess is still single? Just kidding.

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