On last night's episode of The Simpsons, the family spent a few minutes on a store obviously based on Barnes and Noble. The show portrayed a woman in the store read a children's book to an adoring crowd while making slurping sounds. The joke was that the woman didn't really work there and was soon led away in handcuffs. Thankfully, I've never had an an experience like that at a Barnes and Noble. I am inviting Homer and the gang to my signing at the Coronado store on March 30.
A free book is already reserved for Lisa Simpson and the actress who plays her, although, Bart doesn't have to come if he doesn't want to . . .
(I once applied to be on the legal staff for Film Roman, a production company for the Simpsons. I didn't get it, and that's a story for another time)
As I've said in previous blogs, Barnes and Noble has been very good to me, and the store in Coronado Center is my favorite store. I truly hope that they survive the latest round of store closings. You can often find me there on my Saturdays reading obscure British film magazines as well as best selling books that I am too cheap to buy. Yes, I am aware that by browsing instead of buying, I am part of the problem.
Like the various Simpsons episodes where they experience the future and Lisa became President, I had a glimpse of a Barnes and Noble free future. I was at Costco, and I decided to check out their book table. On the one hand, I had already had free samples of some delicious food, but there was no place to sit down. Needless to say, there was limited selection and books were treated like cereal boxes. I found a non-fiction best seller that I had been meaning to check out. I leaned against my shopping cart that was anchored by two 24 pack of gatorades and started reading.
Do not read books at Costco. The lighting was harsh, the back of the shopping cart was uncomfortable. A woman with a family of ten passed by me, and each of them bumped into the shopping cart. I gave up after a chapter when a staffer glared at me as if I had been reaching into a big box of Alpha-Bits and pulling out paragraphs.
In the famed Krusty gets Kanceled episode of the Simpsons, Krusty's guest stars were Luke Perry and Johnny Carson. I doubt that some of the viewers who are Bart's age would know who they are. I truly hope that twenty years from now, I won't have to explain what a Barnes and Noble is.
See you March 30!