Interview with an Intern

In honor of the new Vince Vaughn film, The Internship, here's an old story about my interview in Hollywood when I was at AFI. Unfortunately, I had to start at the bottom . . . If this ever became a film, I could see Vince Vaughn playing me!

            My absolute worst Hollywood job interview was at a small production company in the far reaches of NORTH Hollywood. The difference is more than geographical. North Hollywood might as well be North Dakota with better weather. In the Hollywood Reporter, the production company advertised the position as “Your big break into Hollywood.” Well, I really needed a big break at the time, so I faxed in a resume and was delighted to get an interview.  I had seen it all and heard it all already and I hadn’t even graduated from Film School.

            When I arrived at a cramped space in the valley, they made me wait. The big boss hurried out, and left me with his intern who was in his sophomore year at Cal-State Northridge. The kid looked barely old enough to shave and wore a t-shirt for either a film or a band that I had never heard of. He stared at my resume dumbfounded, or perhaps just dumb.

            “Dude, you should be interviewing me,” he said after scanning the third line of “experience.”

            He had a list of scribbled questions from his boss, and it looked like he could barely read the writing either. Considering my luck with interviews lately, interviewing myself didn’t sound like such a bad idea.

            “OK,” I said. “Your first question is why would someone with my qualifications apply for a job like this?”

            The kid stared at his scribbled notes. It was like I was a psychic.

            “How did you know I was supposed to ask that?”

            I shrugged. “The answer to your question is that I want to change careers and I know that you have to start at the bottom.”

            He smiled.

            “Let’s see,” I said. “Your next question is probably whether I’d be willing to do a lot of menial tasks to learn about the industry. Well, the answer to that is yes. As I said I know I have to start at the bottom.”

            Good answer.

            We spent a few more minutes together. And I hit all of questions, although not necessarily in order.

            He said he’d get back to me. Nothing for a week.

            I called and left a message. Another week, nothing. I didn‘t have to be a psychic to know what that meant. Interviewing myself was one thing, but how could I not return my own phone call?